Gold Star Lesbians

"Krista, what the hell is a Gold Star Lesbian?"

My mouth fell open. Here I was with my straight friend of ten years, and she didn't know what a Gold Star Lesbian was? After all this time spent eating delicious fried food with me?

Come on!

A Gold Star Lesbian is a lesbian who has never slept with a man. She's been gay since birth. Soooo gay that she never even thought to check out the other side. Sooooo gay that she might never have even seen a penis in real life. A Gold Star Lesbian is the gold standard - the gayest of gay.

I wish I was one.

Just kidding! If I hadn't tried boys, how would I know how infinitely superior girls are??

I've slept with boys.
It was, um, educational.
I guess.

Anyway! the point is - Gold Star Lesbians are finger-bangin' great. They don't have diseases. (Unless they sleep with lots of bisexuals.) They'll sleep with you when you have your period and say things like, "I think it's beautiful. It's part of being a woman" while you die laughing. They know their way around a girl.

And lots of lezzies want to be one. Gold Star Posers! There are plenty of girls trying to hide that onnnnnnne little dick-slip they had in high-school. But there's no covering it up.

Because being a Gold Star Lesbian is kind of like being an Eagle Scout. You can't always put your finger on it, but there's something good about it.