Little secret of happiness

-Zara shoes, Zara flowery shorts, Manggo sweater, Forever21 cross necklace, Dresslikeme bag-

This weekend me and my friend went to bandung, only for refreshing.tiring trip,but it's fun! I brought a Polaroid camera that i bought in singapore,I got a cheaper price there haha.I really like taking pictures using a polaroid camera,very cool :)

We're Out of Sponges Again

Morning, tribadists!

It's another beautiful day in Chicago.  


And by beautiful, I mean a searing, white-hot sky overhead, a heat index of 104 degrees, and a certain baby rabbit named Midgeon P. Bundlesworth III melting into a bun-puddle on my kitchen floor.

Poor Midgie.  

Bitch is not having it.

Anyway! while I was sweating my tits off this morning, I got a call from The Straightest Girl in the World.  


She was tanning in a beach chair in Seattle and wanted to let me know that "having a pool in your apartment building is just so luxurious!"

Isn't that awesome.


Besides bragging, Kelly also wanted to badger me with questions about being gay.  

So, because you need something to read while you suck down your iced latte and wait for work to start (I know you went in early for the air-conditioning, you sneaky little bitch)...

Um, Kelly Has a Question.

Q:   Ok, Krissie, so - usually in a straight couple, the girlfriend ends up still being the person in the relationship who cares more about what the house looks like and does stuff like planning dinner and doing dishes.  It kind of falls to her by default.  It's really annoying, and I'm not saying it's ok, but I was wondering:  What is that like for lesbians?  Who does what, chore-wise, when everybody's a girl?  


A:  Kelly, this is actually a great question!  And I hope a toddler craps in your pool.


Who's in charge of which household duties in a lesbian household?  

Did you mean, "If everyone is a girl, who does the 'girl' jobs?"
I have a feeling that's your real question.


Well.  Let's start.  
What's a 'girl' job?  
I think we know what classic girl jobs are.  

Cooking dinner.  Shopping for groceries.  Washing dishes.  Laundry.   Sweeping, mopping, scrubbing.  Defrosting the freezer.  
Anything that involves wearing rubber gloves, threading needles, or Mr. Clean's Magic Eraser.


And what are classic 'boy' jobs?

Umm, let's see.  


Garage stuff.   Lawn care.  Taking out the garbage.  Fixing shit.  Anything involving hot coals and hunks of raw beef.  Changing lightbulbs, making the toilet work, hauling sofas up the stairs.  Killing spiders.


But that's all bullshit now.  
You hear me, Kelly?  Boool-sheeet.


Men stay home and look after babies.  
Women fix the Ford Windstar.  
Dudes bake cookies and ladies stop the sink from dripping.  

It's 2010, darlin' - it's anyone's guess who the bitch is now.


Yep.
Since this isn't 1954, Kelly, I think the short answer to your question about dyke households is:


The one who does a particular chore is the one who cares more about getting that chore done.

For instance, at my house:  


CJ cooks dinner.  There are two reasons for this. 


1) CJ is a brilliant cook with a penchant for 'hiding' vegetables in recipes so I don't notice them; and 


2) I cannot cook, refuse to cook, and, were it left to me, would happily eat Peanut Butter Captain Crunch every night for the rest of my life. 

I could care less about cooking and good nutrition.  If left to my own devices, I eat like a child.  

I'll buy a value pack of something enormous (i.e. a large sack of jasmine rice) and eat it, three meals a day, until it's gone.  
Then I'll buy six watermelons and do the same thing.  


I do not care.


The goal for me is a full belly - you can do it the hard way and spend  hours making Jamaican Pork Stew with Yam, Beans, and Apple Cider-Braised Kale, or you can do it the easy way and buy yourself a fuckload of green grapes and Nutella.

CJ cares more about dinner, so...CJ cooks.


My job is to wash the dishes, which coincidentally, is the chore that CJ hates most.


It's only fair. 


Kelly, I will say that when you're dealing with two lesbians, the division of labor seems...fairer than the deal that I've seen some straight relationships cut.  


Nobody should have to shop for groceries, cook the meal, and clean up afterwards.  That's re-goddamned-diculous. 

Lesbians, as a whole (heh) seem to have a firm grip on what is fair when it comes to dividing up the chores.


CJ lifts heavy stuff in our house - not because she's the butch, but because I have the upper-arm strength of a deer fetus.

I have a pathological need to have a bathroom so clean you could eat a snack inside the toilet, so I always clean the bathroom. 

CJ cleans out the bunny cage, but I sweep up.


You might be tempted to think that gayelles fall into stereotypical roles - like, whoever is more butch does the 'manly' jobs.  And sometimes that's true - I know butch/femme couples where there's a girly-girl who makes dinner in a ruffly apron while the butch dyke hoses out the gutters.  

                                                [via closetdiaries]


But the difference between straights and gays, in this instance, is - say it with me! - irony.  


It's funny to be all Leave It To Beaver when you're a homosexual - it's like playing house! 

It's fun to play at stereotypical gender roles when you're two women that fuck each other on a regular and unholy basis. 

                                             [via robotsnhearts]


But not all lesbians are butches or femmes, obvs.


What do two butches in a relationship do about chores?  
What would two femmes do?  
How would a sporty-dyke and a boi divide household duties?  


There are centipedes in every house, Kelly, and those centipedes have to die!!!  Who's going to do it?  Who's going to fucking do it????


The answer is simple - the one who is less afraid.  

                                                [via leahjeane]


Kelly, I would hope (I would fucking hope, in this day and age) that all couples, regardless of sexual orientation, take stock of each person's talents and use them accordingly to divide up chores.  


The one that doesn't clean is the one who gets up every morning to let the dog out.  


The one that always unclogs the drain gets let off the hook when you find maggots in the flour.

Fair's fair, Kells.  
There are clothes to wash and buttons to sew back on.  
There's motorcycles to fix and cats who need their claws clipped.  Dinner has to be made and DVDs have to get returned - whoever is more bothered and has time is the one who's going to do the chore.

                                             (via hello bum)


Lesbians are not mythical sparkling endangered white pandas from a planet where everyone knows how to cook and the houses smell like french-vanilla candles.

We're women who fuck each other and live together and use the same bathroom.  
Just like you, Kelly, we have to negotiate things like whose turn it is to buy Q-tips ("They have to actually be Q-tips, baby, don't buy the off-brand kind like you did last time, unless you want me to have a punctured eardrum") and whose turn it is to deal with the landlord.  

Just because we're two girls doesn't mean the apartment is always clean.  Just because we're women doesn't mean we have a pie cooling on the counter and the plants don't die.

                                          [via baubauhaus]


There are crusty dishes in every relationship.  

Ok?
And Kells?  For god's sake, withhold sex if you think you're getting a raw deal.

                                               (by MKestfou)
Duh.


Homos, for Kelly's benefit, let me open this up for discussion:


How do chores work at your house?

docoloco

docoloco- name for the title of my blog, this time. I want to learn about fashion,maybe I don't know anything about it,but I love wearing heels,bracelets,necklaces,etc haha:)

-forever21 gold heels,unbranded skirt,ruby bracelets,pearl necklace-

Dyke Style Update!

OMG quick look I posted poetry!

Ahem.

So you thought you knew best 

all the ways to tell

if a woman was gay 

by the way she was dressed.

You laughed - "This is easy!"

you said with a grin

"A fish is a fish -

look for scales; look for fins!"

There were dykes all around

and you just went to Pride -

finding lezzies was simple

not a thorn in your side.

There were messenger bags!

There were tats and hairdids!

It was easy to tell

the gays from the straight kids.

But now there's a problem:

your gaydar doth err

and you're hitting on women

who like dick - they ain't querr!  (work with me.)

There are all sorts of chicks

copping dyke-style clothes

and they look, walk, and act 

like lesbian pose...rs.

Well, we can't let them win.

We still have to get laid!

We must update our gaydar;

our skills mustn't fade.

So...

Summer school is in session

Get your books; grab a pen.

Hot girls can be gay...

now it's time to learn when.

POP GAYDAR QUIZ!!!

Everybody put your books under your desk.   

Each question is worth 50% of your grade. 

You have 15 minutes. 

Begin.

                                        [via lesfemmes]

1)  Isobel is 32 years old and has really short hair.  She works in a pharmacy lab, drives a Prius, lives in the city, and is a vegetarian.  Everybody in the lab has a crush on her.  Isobel is very mysterious.  Right this second, she's running late - it's  someone's birthday party tonight.
  

As Isobel races out the door, she's wearing: skinny jeans, a white t-shirt, a tweed fedora, and brown boots that come up to her calves.  

Is Isobel gay or straight?

Why?

---------------------------------

                                 (by ! Siu)

2)  Shelby is tiny.  She's 29, has shortish red hair, a Monroe piercing, and works in art therapy.  She drives a Volkswagen bug, is obsessed with the new Thai place around the corner from her house, and has about 80 male friends surrounding her at all times.  Today she's going to a summer art fair in the park.

Right now, Shelby is wearing: a white cotton sundress, bare legs, a different ring on every finger, a straw fedora with a black band, and brown leather sandals.

Is Shelby gay or straight?

Why?

------------------------------

Time's up!

Alright, put your pencils down and turn your paper over.  

Everyone hand their paper to the person to your right - we're going to go over these together.

Answers!

1)  Isobel.

Ha!  Don't play with me.  Isobel is a big ol' homo.  Apart from all the stereotypical clues (vegetarian, Prius), Isobel is wearing a fedora to a party.  

Do not be distracted.  Look at nothing but the fedora.

Fags, I know fedoras are the ish this summer, but only gay girls are into hats enough to throw one on without a second thought to complete a party look.   

A statement hat like a fedora requires some serious time spent trying on hats - a commitment to long-term hat-wearing.   

Queer women are obsessed with hats, and so have already put in the time posing in front of mirrors; seeing how hats look with all their different outfits.  

Remember this:  Lesbians fucking love fedoras.  

A lesbian cannot look at a fedora in any setting without trying it on. 

                                                 (via strawberrylaces)

No lesbian can walk away from a fedora.  

It's nobody's fault.

Something in the chemical makeup.

Fedoras say "40's gangster." 

Fedoras say "I am El Mysterioso.  Come to me."  

They are real, real gay.

Yes, straight girls.  I hear you.  You saw Alicia Keys wear a fedora all those years ago and you've rocked one ever since.  

Well, you look like a homosexual.  

No lie.

2)  Shelby.  

Shelby is super fucking straight.  

Tricks, I am aware that Shelby is, in fact, wearing a fedora.  I know. 

But Shelby is wearing that fedora because Urban Outfitters told her to. 

She's trendy, not a twat-licker.

There's only one kind of fedora that straight girls wear, and it's this one:

This particular fedora has been all over magazines, and now it's trickled down to Target.  

Everybody and your mom has one. 

A hip, "menswear-influenced" way to keep the sun off your face.  


(*Tip!*Make sure to add a feminine detail to soften up your look, ladies!  Love, Cosmo.)

Straight girls don't wear their straw fedoras at night.  That would be stupid.  The straw fedora is a day hat.    

Now don't get me wrong.  Straight girls look cute in this hat.  

But they sure as fuck don't look gay.

How did you do on the quiz?

Was it super hard?  I tried to make it super hard.

We gay girls love hats - it follows that we love and wear the fedora. But we mustn't be fooled!  Constant vigilance!

Straight girls have also started showing their love for the fedora. 

Fortunately for us, they only wear one kind.  

Gay is in the details, friends.