#1

Welcome to Effing Dykes, a blog for the people who want to figure out which girls are gay.

Lesbians are awesome and everywhere.
You meet them every damn day. And we're going to learn all about how to spot them, right here on Effing Dykes. Why? Because I love sleeping with girls, and I want you to have that joy, too!

Maybe you're a girl just figuring out you like other girls. Maybe you're forty and still can't tell if the woman you're dating will leave you for dick in the end. Maybe you're a dude whose girlfriends, over and over again, keep dumping him for women. You need some help.


Q: But how do we know what lesbians look like?

A: It's fucking impossible. You need guidence, and that's why I'm here. My name is Krista, and I have spectacular gaydar. You could call it a gift. My gaydar is the Eighth Wonder of the World. No homo can hide from me. I will find her out. Everyone, friends, is good at something, and I am good at quickly figuring out if someone is a muffdiver. Don’t be jealous – I’m sure you can multiply big numbers in your head or something.

It's not really your fault. How on Earth are you supposed to know? There are so many different types of women out there who may or may not be gay! There are femmes, and they look straight to you, but they’re totally gay. There are butch women with dyke haircuts and men’s carpenter jeans, and they’re straight. There is a whole category of women who look gay and aren’t and are completely offended to be asked. There is another whole category of women who look straight and aren’t and are completely offended to be asked. What about androgynous women? What about the entire state of Minnesota? What about girls with trendy glasses in art school? What about hippie chicks? What about trans girls? But most importantly, what about YOU??? How are you going to get laid?

Let's go hunting.