TurtleTribal Tattoo Design Tattooed in the Left Back of A Freak Tattooing Designs

TurtleTribal Tattoo Design Tattooed in the Left Back of A Freak Tattooing Designs

Why Bike When You Can Trike?

You know when you've got a brand-new naked trick in your bed and she's all lying on her back with her arms behind her head going, "aahhh, that was great" ?

And you get that old urge to bite her armpit?

Y'know, 'cause she's not expecting it and you want to teach her a lesson and assert your dominance?

Don't do it.

She may be wearing Secret Powderfresh Ultraclear Solid deodorant.

And then you'll have to deal with a mouthful of super-moisture-wicking dust, all drying out your tongue. 
Mmmf.

Anyway!

I got a call the other night from the Straightest Girl in the World.
It was a drunk-dial.

So...

Um, Kelly Has A Question.

Q: Ok, Krissie, so I've been thinking about this a lot, and what would you say (I mean besides making fun of me) if I told you I wanted to maybe have a threesome with another girl and my boyfriend?  Would a lesbian have a threesome with me?  I mean, where would I even start?

A:  Aw, Kelly, Godloveya.  I can always count on you to forget that Seattle is three hours behind New York time.

But you've asked an excellent question.  One that I've been asked before.  Men, women, and one rather advanced 14-year-old have sent me e-mails asking "How Can I Have a Threesome?" in varying degrees of desperation. 
So you're not alone.

But who has threesomes?  And why are they so popular all of a sudden? 

Is it because society is sexed to the max?  Is a threesome the new sexual frontier to cross?  Could we blame this on Britney Spears, somehow?

Unless you're in the cast of Gossip Girls, or are extra fun at parties, you're probably among the millions of Americans who think a threesome would be hot, but have never had one.

But maybe you're taking that next step.  Maybe you're trying to set one up. 

I'd like to begin with three real-life ads for threesomes.  These were all pulled in less than two minutes from the Chicago Craigslist "Casual Encounters" section (aka Krista's Home Page.)

Exhibit A:

More for Her Than for Me:
This is a surprise for my wife for this weekend. She is not necessarily bi, but has expressed interest in women of late, even though its in the context of a three way. I think she will be super excited if a woman were to flirt with us at a nice bar/ restaurant and came home with us for a li'll dip in the hot tub and take us from there. I think she loves pussy juice...I always feed my wet fingers to her after dipping in her and she goes wild. Want to help?
She is exotic, HWP, very well educated and a professional. She would prefer the same or someone small to medium built. Nice big nipples are a big plus! :)

Oh my God, I was with you, sir, right until the end. I was going to flirt with your pussy-juice-loving wife in a nice restaurant and take it to the hot tub, even though you're not at all sure she would be into it. But shit! My nipples are just tiny.

------------------------------------------------------------------
Exhibit B:

Looking to experience being with a woman tonight w4w - 30
Seeking a hispanic, caucasian, or asian girl. Please be clean, fit, must be 21-29 yr old.
I'm bi and seeking her to be bi.I very submissive,but not crazy. I am a mom of two kids but have a nice and tight body, pretty, would like ongoing arrangement. I am dd / drug free. Should be in my apt. I am currently with my boyfriend, so you must be comfortable when he is around. If you'd like, he can join us!
This posting is only for tonight. So PLEASE BE REAL.. willing to voice verify.

Yes.  I would feel totally comfortable with your boyfriend lurking around.  Totally!  In fact, I'm glad you said he could join us, because I really wanted him to, and I was too shy to ask.  So...it would just be us girls then, right?  Until the real fun (his cock) started?

----------------------------------------------------------------
Exhibit C:

lookin for bi girl play with me n my boytoy - w4w -im hot,
i wanna lick you while he takes me from behind
we want to get together right
lets all meet at my place and have some naughty fun
dd free, always safe,
completely serious.

Awesome.  Count me in.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ha.  The internet is chockablock with thousands of ads like these. 

And...maybe people are answering them. 
Maybe hundreds of hot, fit, kinky bisexual women are writing back, going, "YES!  I am dying to let you 'lick me' while your man takes you from behind!"

Or...maybe not.
'Cause really - read those ads and then ask, after each one, "What's in it for me?" 
I think you'll find the answer is, "Not much."

The usual people advertising for threesomes are not thinking about you.  They are thinking about themselves; gettin' down n' dirty with a hot, nasty, faceless-female-somebody.  Anybody. 

So ads are weird.  But you could try.

Oh and hey Kells? I'm not an expert on this.

I've never had a threesome with another girl and a guy.

Why?

Because I'm a lesbian, Kelly. A lesbian. 

I know I don't speak for all the queers, but I, as a dyke, would not be interested in having sex with another woman if a man also happened to be involved.

Because what don't I like in bed, Kells? As a lesbian? Wait for it....

Oh. Men.

Doesn't matter if the girl involved is the hottest thing on the planet. I just.wouldn't.hit it if there was a guy involved.

I think it's pretty common to feel how I feel.

Straight people who wanna have threesomes never, ever understand this. 

They go, "Wait, what's the problem? I'm a hot guy. My wife is the bomb. We're hot! Why wouldn't you want to have sex with us?"

Oh, I dunno. How about:

1) I am not a new and friendly sex toy for you two to bond over.

2) Penises gross me the fuck out.  Adding a girl next to the penis doesn't make me not notice the penis in the room.

3) At least one of you is ugly.

4) The woman in the couple has never touched another woman's body before.  Why would I, as a dyke (or even a bisexual), go for that?  That just sounds like bad sex.

Again, what's in it for me?

All of that being said, Kelly, go for it.  Have a threesome.  Be safe and have fun! Find a hot slutty bi girl and go nuts. 

Good luck with that.

Beautiful Feminine Pisces Tattoos

Beautiful Feminine person Tattoos comes in the category of decorous tattoos and I have seen basically used these kind of tattoos in remembrance of their girl friends who are alive or those who are not present in this world.
Those who were love their lovers very deeply and cod to some individualized reason she in not with his boyfriend these types of persons essentially use Beautiful Feminine person Tattoos as remembrance of their sweetie.

Actually in Beautiful Feminine person Tattoos essentially tattoos in the form of human grappling is drawn in different body parts, I hit seen in my life that essentially grappling is drawn in Beautiful Feminine person Tattoos, some of my friends hit also drawn these kind of tattoos in remembrance of their girlfriends.

Arm Tattoo Designs Looks Very Beautiful

Arm Tattoo Designs

comes in the category of those designs widely used every over the world, it’s my personal experience and I hit seen this peak sort of persons wish to create tattoos
mostly on their arms.
Arms are the body parts of human body mostly which is not covered by our clothing’s, mostly teenagers and adults wears tees and in tees your arms are not covered and tattoos over your arm attract other to look you.
Basically Arm Tattoo Designs looks rattling beautiful and attractive and improves the beauty of some normal person; I mean to say these Arm Tattoo Designs are confident to change the personality of some simple mortal into rattling modern smart person.

New Badly Tattoos Design

What a ascendant would feature she is normal before a daughter same this? Not so much for the girl itself, which could also be a beautiful and generous source of recreation and surprises and this a tattoo crapper be sexy, provocative, vulgar, ugly, seriously designed, incomprehensible, disturbing, brilliant, ironic, and so on. But this is truly obscene. Personally I hope that this is a photomontage, a huge butterfly on the butt does not attain me come to mind null legendary!

And I think this design
is not exhibit ant side gist and not expensive and generally seriously tattoos is represent by nude posse, just see the light to see who module be the instrument of his impact but the rest is a matter of genetics, the picture it has in its DNA and it is a passion which still invests all his energy. Any identify tattoos organisation just same crosss tattoos is a identify of Badly Tattoos design

Grass-Fed, Locally Raised Guilt

Happy New Year, queers!

It's a marvelous year already. I'm back to work, and even though I complain about it, it's kind of nice to have a routine. Especially when my job is to be "fragressive" (that's 'friendly' and 'aggressive') and order people around all day.
Also! The 3M privacy filter is really coming in handy.
My God.

You all should run out and buy one right now. I actually watched ten women in China compete in a Miss Flexibility contest on YouTube in a coffeeshop full of toddlers on Sunday, and I'm not even kidding not even a little bit.
But, um....


Psssssst.

I have a dirtyass secret. The New Year cannot progress until I tell you. It's really that bad. Unburdening-time!

BACKSTORY:

A girl I know, Jadie, at a party right around New Year's, asked if I had any resolutions this year.

Without a thought in my head, I gaily trilled, "Wear more fucking fur!" and laughed.

At the time, I was one week into Pet Bunny Ownership and was wearing a silver fox fur stole the size of a large dog.Looking back, it may have seemed...slightly evil.

I had forgotten that Jadie is a militant vegan.
She excused herself and spent the rest of the evening tossing me dirty looks. As if I was K.D. Lang wearing baby-seal pants and throwing chicken bones on the floor!
Hmph.

MY SECRET:

I wear fur. I own fur. I fucking adore fur.
And I'm gay.
And I'm not a drag queen and I have a pet.
And I'm constantly trying to be a vegetarian.
And I donate to PETA.
Contradictions.

People! Before you throw red paint on me, listen to my weak rationalizations!

I only buy vintage fur.
I figure, buying new fur is bad; it creates a demand for more fur in the marketplace, and then new animals get killed.
Buuuut...if the animal was killed in 1923, what's the harm?

It's already been made into a fur.

It seems more wasteful and anti-green movement (ohhhyes I'm going there) to throw away a perfectly good, oh-so-cozy fur than to buy it at a Goodwill for $4 and wear it for years.

You're such a dyke. I already know what you're going to say. You're going to say that when girls see other girls wearing fur, they want fur, and then the demand goes up for fur anyway. Well, shut up. The truth is, I would have a fur bedspread if I could just find one in a thrift store. ThereIsaidit. And then I would roll on it naked and sleep 'till noon and eat bonbons and refuse to go to work ever again.
Like this baby.
Lucky little bitch.I ask you. What is it with lesbians? Why can't I have friends and wear tatty old furs? And really...why are so many of us vegetarians?

What is it with us?

Go into any vegetarian restaurant in any town, and that's where the dykes in organic cotton t-shirts will be hanging out.

Is it because we just, um, uniformly oppose meat?
Have a hatred for sausages?
Don't wanna play "Hide the Salami"? Heh.
Vegetarianism is an issue I struggle with. Every three months or so, I get pamphlets in the mail from PETA and decide I'm going to quit meat, whole-hog. Cold turkey.

1) I shove my fur coats to the back of the closet and refuse to pet them lovingly.
2) I start sauteing kale and making nutloaf.
3) I drink nutritional shakes that are green and thick and gross.
4) I start acting superior.
5) I begin (final stage) believing that Tofurkey actually tastes like something similar to meat.
Sooooo close to Official Vegetarian/Anti-Fur Lesbian status!

And then someone calls me to go out for BBQ.
And I fall in love all over again.
Omigod, meat.
Steak. Hamburgers slathered with ketchup and mustard. Bacon. Poor-quality breakfast sausages at the Hampton Inn buffet.

I just love meat so much.

But I wish I was a cool vegetarian dyke.
The kind that never puts any kind of meat in her mouth at all.

Can you be a vegetarian in a fur coat? Or will the two opposing forces cancel each other out and cause an implosion?

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